Expectation starts when we grow up asking for candies and toys from our parents. We did ask for anything and everything that has been a need or wants for us. Even if it wasn’t, we demanded things that were of no use either.
We demanded because we had certain expectations. A presumption that whatever we ask or wish for will be delivered.
Not telling, it was not the right thing to do, or as an adolescent, this should have been different. No, I am not implying any such fact. Expectations are not entirely terrible but are only good at certain places and conditions. Mostly, expectations will only be a reason for sorrow.
The reason it results in the sorrow is because of a very plain logic that we deep within are also well aware. It is because humans are not designed in a way to be controlled. Even if they could be, it wouldn’t have been the right thing to do. If we do not have domination, we cannot ask anyone to fulfill our expectations. Not necessarily at any point in time, people will be doing things as you want them to. They might not even be aware of your expectations.
We don’t grow and leave our habits of childhood, the mindset doesn’t change. The only difference is that expectation of candy turns into feelings, relationships, or worldly things.
Expectations are nothing more than the wait for someone to push our swing. It should be done with our own feet.
Assuming, you must have played the game of LUDO at any point in time in your life. The thing I did observe various times is that if you spare someone’s token shouldn’t be expected that in turn, another person won’t terminate yours. That expectation when we anticipate him to payback doesn’t get done, we frustrate. That is, of course, a fundamental thing but very important for a happy life.
We keep dwelling over feelings and expectations purely created in our minds.
What a boon it could be if all we start doing everything selflessly without expectations?
I guess that’s what Lord Krishna tried to convey in Geeta.
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥
(द्वितीय अध्याय, श्लोक 47)
Simplifying it as, Focus on your deed. Stop expecting the results.
Of course, I am not saying that you should start working for your employer for free, though if you work without expecting an appreciation that shall surely bring happiness in the long run. The pleasure achieved in getting things fortuitous is unmatched to anything.
Imagine the strength where nothing affects you anymore. When it does not matter if people love you, hate you, like you, dislike you, enter your life, or exit. When anything does not matter anymore. When you feel everything yet nothing bothers you.
Imagine the strength of controlling your senses.
Imagine the hurting you could prevent by doing this to yourself.
If you are virtuous to people, do not expect them to reciprocate. Appreciate it if they do so. If they don’t, learn to let it be.
If you love someone, love with all your heart. Don’t expect them to love you back.
If you want to wait for someone, WAIT. But try making that waiting period effortless, void of any expectations.
Life turns into a blessing when we just learn to eradicate an emotion of expectation.
Yes, it isn’t easy, It never will be. But we need to turn ourselves into a person full of emotional strength. Nobody loves to be the person dwelling over the sadness of failed expectations.
The best way to avoid the pain and waiting period is to straight away discuss and ask in case of personal connections. Limpid discussions over something rather than expectations clears out the way faster.
Personally, If you deserve it, you will get it. If you don’t get it, you will get something better.
We realize this after a while when we join the dots and turn of events in our life.
Let’s meet soon with another article. Love you all. Take Care.